Thursday, February 18, 2010

(What is actually happening) Re-dedication

You may have read the title and, if you know me, thought, "What? The only way he could be more dedicated to Ultimate is if he were a disc!" And while I am re-dedicating myself to Ultimate, I'm also re-dedicating myself to life. 

The Situation:
I wasn't going to play Ultimate this semester. I couldn't afford to go to school, thus I wouldn't have been eligible to play this semester. The decision had been made. I was still going to be around, at practices, at tournaments, etc. But I wasn't going to be playing.

Funny thing is, I have really good friends. Friends who believed I meant enough to the team (certainly more than I thought I meant to the team) to come forward and offer a solution. I really try not to accept favors like that. (This is mildly hypocritical because: a) I tend to always be in a position where I almost have to accept them and b) When the tables are turned I am adamant that friends accept favors from me.) They clearly wanted to make this happen, and I couldn't disappoint them by saying no. So I accepted.

The Result:
Biking home that night, I decided something. If I'm going to allow them to make this huge sacrifice for me, then I'm going to do the same for them. I can't allow myself to just go through the motions this year when they are clearly depending on me to be something I didn't think I was. So I've decided to become that.

This starts by giving up television, in all its capacity. No TV shows, no sports, no movies, no anything. You might be inclined to say, "That's not that big of a deal." I assure you, it is. I spend hours of time each day watching television. This is not to say that I'm some couch potato who doesn't get out and do anything, which I'm not. However, there are large chunks of time spent watching ESPN, Fox, NBC, dvd rentals, etc. By giving that up, at least until the end of the semester (with the only exception being the NCAA basketball tournament aka March Madness), I can fill my time with much more productive activities, including:

-Training. I plan on running more, throwing more, and working out in some capacity. I'm going to restart the Air Alert jumping program, in addition to running multiple miles around the track multiple times a week. I also plan on getting into the gym at least once a week.

-Reading scripture. Thanks to another good friend on a completely unrelated situation, I have finally gotten into a pretty good routine of reading my Bible daily. This will continue, in a greater capacity.

-Other reading. In the last couple of weeks I have completed "What's So Amazing About Faith?" and "The Lightning Thief." I am currently reading "The Catcher in the Rye" and plan on reading quite a bit more, including finishing the Eragon series, reading the rest of The Chronicles of Narnia, and searching for more religious material including other works by C.S. Lewis and Philip Yancey.

-Building relationships. Relationships can always be improved, and I plan on doing so with my teammates, co-workers, the high school students and anyone else I come across.

-Sleeping. I don't even like sleeping, but I know that only getting 5-6 hours of sleep on a nightly basis isn't as good as 7-8. So we'll see how that goes.

Lastly, I am also greatly indebted to the aforementioned friends. Therefore, I'm going to be much more tentative about my monetary habits. WAY less eating out, with a lot more peanut butter, pasta, fruits and vegetables (that's all healthier anyway, right?). Absolutely no unnecessary purchases (movies, music, clothes, etc.). All the money I now have technically isn't mine, so where do I come off spending it on things that aren't helping me achieve my goal? I've had a loan before. I didn't handle that situation well, and it's not going to happen again.

It's highly unlikely that this all comes together the way I planned. Which is fine, because I'd rather it come together the way God planned. But I am going to put everything I've got into this. If my friends feel I'm worth that much to them, then I'm going to make sure that they have a reason to believe so.

PS: I can't do this alone. Any help and encouragement any of you can give along the way would mean the world to me.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

(What was going to happen) Until Next Year...

This might be the toughest decision I've ever had to make. Not that I have difficult decisions ever. The hardest choice I ever have to make is deciding which football(s) game to tivo. But this was actually a life decision, one that I didn't want to make, but felt I had no choice.

I will not be competing in the UPA Series this semester.

In the grand scheme of things, this isn't really that big a deal. But I love this sport and the people who are in it so much that to have to say I won't be able to compete until next year hurts me a great deal, especially with all of the work that has already gone into this year.

The main reason is that it's not fiscally possible. In order to compete, I have to be enrolled in class. I'm already done with the coursework I need for my degree. The only reason I was enrolling in school this semester was to play Ultimate. I figured I could scrape by for one more semester and go from there. While there's a slight chance I would be able to pull it off, it creates a lot more problems in the future than it is worth for now. 

By not playing (and not having to pay for school), I can begin saving money for the future. I plan on going back to school next spring and pursuing a graduate degree, which needs to be paid for. I can live somewhat comfortably now with the little money I earn, while still being able to travel with the team and have fun enjoying places like Stanford, North Carolina, and Colorado instead of being holed up with nothing to do because I have no money to do anything with. 

If I were to play, I would be reaching far and wide to make ends meet in order to come up with the money to pay for school, travel, food, etc. 

Hopefully my teammates understand this position and don't get upset with the position I have put them in. However, I don't feel like my absence hinders their ability to play well. As a matter of fact, hopefully it makes them even better. I'm not a great defender in general, and the way I'm built to play offense is the exact opposite of what our offense is designed to do. I have seen us run a very smooth, efficient offense quite often without my presence. As a matter of fact, it runs well when I'm on the field just standing still. 

In moving forward, I am in no way distancing myself from the team. I will still be at every practice, pickup, scrimmage and tournament, doing everything I can to help out the team. Also, I will be using this time to focus, train, and prepare for the club season. I'm excited for the possibilities for the next year and year after that. 

Besides, with all the time I've already spent watching from the sideline this season due to some incredible misfortune for our team, what's another few months?

See you on the field. Kind of.